NOTE: this conversation may or may not have actually happened.

I was just sitting here, in my room, minding my own business, thinking. Thinking about nothing and everything. One of those nights. I had finished a nice glass of Shiraz, watched Wall-E while eating sunflower seeds, and then decided to browse the ‘net before passing out.
As I finished reading my junk mail, deciding between the Viagra and the penis enlargement supplements, I took a deep breath and all of the sudden he showed up again.
It went something like this:

me -*sigh*

?- Is that what you really want?

me- Wha…Excuse me?

- You heard me.

ya I did, wait…but…what…ammm…did you…you heard that??

ya…that’s why I asked

but…you…heard…my thoughts?

ya…why?

WHY? cause that’s not normal….its actually fucked up…and very rude. Like very very rude!

oohhhkkkaayyy, get over it man.

but how?

how to get over it?…or…how do I-

how did you read my-

you know how, stop acting stupid, answer me. Is that what you really want?

ya…it is…I wish I could-

well…you wish a bit too much…don’t you think?

*puzzled look* huh?

I’m just saying…"wish this" …"wish that"…like shut the fuck up already. People shouldn’t wish this much. You gotta “do” it. Not wish it.

dude…chill…stop reading my thoughts…and what’s with you and the Genie complex…I wanna wish as I PLEASE…fuck you! I can wish all I want…all day..and all fucking night…you stupid asshole.

ok..YOU chill…and you know I ain’t no Genie..and don’t even compare to that fucker…I’m very real…and you very well know it

see? right here…this…just this right here…its cause of assholes like you and shit like this that I wanna just de-friend people…I wanna go back, and walk by and never talk to them…just ignore them…and never start a so called friendship or whatever…then I don’t have to avoid them…or see them…or call them….or talk to them…as the matter of fact, I wish they could disappear or something…you know?

ya I know…you want me to kill them…right?

NO!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!? hell no! what’s wrong with you? I never said that!!

hahahahaha…look at you…your eyes are about to pop out! relax…I know what you mean…that’s all i hear you say..err…think…but you can’t…can you?

 

I’ve tried and it looks to be impossible.

all this is cause of her?

you know its not for her..its what she stands for…

and what is that?

which one?

both of them…

well…one is fucking sorrow and depression…and the other one is…I don’t even know…failure perhaps? but that’s not right…how do i put this…amm…phony-ness?

“phony-ness”? hahaha..you dumbass! is that even a word? you can’t just add a little “ness” after everything..you know that right?

why not? I like it…phony-ness! it makes sense!

you and “phony”…..my own little catcher in the mother fucking rye huh? Holden much?

fuck off…

next thing I know you gonna tell me you’re gay huh?

I thought you could read thoughts? you jackass…

so?…I still enjoy pissing you off..

how very "RasaM" of you?

ya…very…

so?

so what?

what do you think?

I don’t usually think…I just act..

everyone thinks…

but I’m not everyone..

ok..drop it man…you’re special…we get it…

who’s "we"?

*rolls eyes*…anyway…can I just not talk to them or something? ignore and move on?

lemme shake my magic 8 ball…

*pffft*

 

nope…no can do…you are stuck my amigo!

I don’t really like you…why do you even come here? why can’t you just leave and never come back?

cause you cant live without me…and you know it!

but what we have here makes no sense…

ya…never really did

so…if I go…she will be there…and I can’t just ignore her…and chances are she’s gonna say something either stupid or depressing…and both are gonna bother me

and the other one?

well…she’s gonna be herself…which is unstable to say the least…I think deep down she doesn’t like me cause I was there when she was borderline retarded. When she was a dumbass…maybe she doesn’t like me as her reminder…? or-

you give yourself too much credit…you really aren’t special…

hahahahahahahaha…I thought you were different? what happened? now all of the sudden I’m not special? pick a side you fuck…you can’t just half-way this shit…you gonna have to commit…for once in your life, you need to actually commit and be a part of this.

you very well know that neither of us is really good with this whole committing business.

speak for yourself, I’m excellent.

no you’re not.

ok…but I’m getting better and that’s a fact.

so? still years behind the average.

well…what if I don’t wanna be the average, I wanna be me!

ok, one of us has to drop this “ohhh look at me, I’m special” act, so why don’t you do the honours?

why do you have to be an asshole?

cause you are an asshole.

that isn’t true! I am not!

ok, we can do this all day, and I don’t have time for it, I’m tired and I wanna sleep.

I know what you mean…

duhh!

so…what do you think I should do?

not a clue

not a SINGLE clue?

nope, I really don’t know. I know you wanna be nice, and do the right thing, but at the same time, she can be depressing and the other is kinda crazy…so is it worth it?

I don’t know…maybe I could talk to her, grab her and be like listen, can you please try to close your can of wormshit, I’m still recovering from the shit you told me in April.

don’t you think that’s rude…?

ya it is…and you know I can never tell her that…

I say you just don’t go…fuck it…who cares? you won’t be missed.

ya…I guess…-

ya…guess right!

you know something?

I know a lot of things, but this one I guess I don’t…what?

You are, by far, the shittiest voice one could have inside their head…like so shit-

EXCUSE you? I’m a great voice…all other heads WISH they had a voice like me…I’m smart…and witty…the perfect kinda voice

you are a moron, and a waste of energy.

cause I live inside your damn head, can you blame me? this shit is empty! you little turd!

whatever, I said my peace, now shut up and turn off the lights, I wanna sleep.

I can’t turn the lights off dumbass, I’m a voice…you turn off the lights…

see? useless.